How To Save A Marriage By Taking The Right Steps At The Right Time.
My marriage was an arranged marriage. There were a number of reasons why the marriage shouldn’t have happened. I was just out of my Journalism graduation and was looking forward to build a career in the print media. I was only 23 and wanted to get married only at 27.
My husband on the other hand was in love with a girl. His parents did not approve of the marriage because she was poor; her family depended on her income, so they feared that the alliance would be a liability. I talked about my ambition to him before marriage itself, but he kept his affair a secret. He revealed it only two days after our marriage. I was fuming, but I kept the secret to myself because I believed that if God has brought us together he had a purpose.
As days passed by there were more problems waiting for me in the kitty. I had to deal with my unsatisfied mother-in-law who always wanted more. On our first marriage anniversary we had a son; we thought a child could help in saving our marriage. When thinks were in the worst situation I called my father to find out how to save my marriage.
He introduced me to his friend a marriage counselor, who gave certain advices to help me save my marriage. When I listened to the stories of estranged couple, I feel ours fiction in marriage had the worst scenario. It had more odds than one can comprehend. Many a time I walked out of his life and I would sit in my parents’ house and discuss with them how I can save a doomed marriage like mine.
Today, it is 10 years into our marriage. We are now happy couples, who are considered as ideal couples by many. We have two wonderful sons who make us proud and a good lot of memories that we can cherish in our old days.
Have you ever wondered in the most vulnerable moment “How can I save my marriage”? The answer is yes. Even when there was virtual divorce, it is possible to reinstate the marriage. When people hear there is a fiction in a family they say the marriage is ruined. The question in the mind should not be “Is there hope to save a marriage?” but “There is always hope to save the marriage.” When a conflict arises between partners don’t be prejudiced thinking something which is broken cannot be restored in its original form. Human mind is given the gift to forget and to forgive. Marriage can be successful.
There are three stages in a marriage where you can take steps for saving your marriage:
Before Marriage: When your have decided to get married it is important that you talk (‘Marriage book’ 7 golden rules) openly about your hope and aspirations and listen to each other. Two people come together from different cultures and with different script into the marriage. After marriage the two becomes one and the scripts have to be merged to form a successful story of married life.
Honeymoon & Post Honeymoon days: These days are like the time taken to learn cycling. First you touch and feel the cycle, then you ride it which results in falls and bruises and finally you become expert drivers. These carefree days can be used to learn more about the spouse’s dreams, aspirations, culture and emotions. It will be easier to adjust to situations if we know what makes them angry, irritated and unhappy.
Marriage on the verge of divorce: Take the initiative to take action to solve the crisis. One of the spouses has to take the action first. You be the first to think of “How can I save my marriage”. The greatest disaster in a marriage is that you are not ready to take action. If you decide to save your marriage, it will surely work out.
I n whatever mire your marriage is now, you can definitely come out of that provided you genuinely desire so. Our marriage had all the reasons of a genuine divorce, but what kept us together is that we had tied a knot of love some where deep in our heart. In spite of our differences we wanted to be together. Either one of us took the initiative to patch up the differences when the other declared it as over.
To save marriage you have to first make your mind up on that and slowly change the attitude of your spouse. You can use the negative energy in your relation to turn your relationship around.