General Features Of Marriage Counseling
Marriage needs proper care and nurturing. Both spouses are committed to each other. There is no expiry date to when the commitment ends. When the children are born there is a natural tendency to not pay any attention towards each others needs.
This ultimately led to fiction and divorce. In the carefree days of dating you just looked into each other eyes and whiled away the time. But after marriage we feel children come before everything else. In such situation a counselor can help you spot the gap that can be created over a period of time and you can make changes in your habits.
What should I expect from marriage counseling?
There can be many other reasons for marital discord. When you go for counseling you can expect to have different stage of counseling.
What you feel about your marriage right now: In the first stage you will be asked about how you feel about the marriage at this moment. This question can lead to argument between the two partners. Both of you might reveal things that the other might never thought about. The stories of not caring and lack of sexual intimacy might shock the other person. The Councilor who is experienced in human psychology will help you to properly communicate with each other. The priority of the councilor is not about who is wrong and who is right. He aims at correcting the mistakes in both so you can live a successful married life.
Ask about the dreams and ambitions: The middle aged couples usually have arguments about children, career and money. The councilor may ask about each person’s vision of life and dreams of the career. After listening to both, they will advice you to do things which are best suited to save the marriage. They will also try to find out how you resolve conflicts. Some show their anger by shouting loudly. This show the kind of breeding they had where anger was expressed loudly.
Individual counseling: Both of you might be called separately by the counselor and asked about intimate topics like sexual intimacy and about behavior of the spouse. It is not asked together because the couples would not like the private matter to be exposes to strangers and it might also hurt the sentiments both parties. After listening to the problems the counselor might even ask the family members to bring the next time because some of the behavioral pattern might be rooted in the family.
Advices: The councilors give advice to both the parties to bring changes in how they thought about their spouse and also how they dealt with issues. They will be advised to honor and respect their spouse and to maintain transparency in their relationship. Integrity, truthfulness and faith are indispensable in a happy marriage. I your spouse have complete faith in you then only they will discuss something with you. They will also be told respect each other. Instead of finding fault with whatever the partner does, it is better to appreciate what qualities are there in the spouse. It is a myth that the spouse can compliment each other. Both are wanting in qualities, so it is better to learn to adjust.
Training: The couples will be trained to communicate better with each other. The will be taught how to be good listener and not to argue with the partner. Sometime they will advise you to go to other specialist for treatment. If you have some psychological disorder your will be send to a psychiatrist. And sometime you will send to a physician for a health check up. The counselor might ask you to work out regularly or enter in a hobby to reduce tension.
Assignments: you can also expect to get some kind of assignment to reinforce the faults that were pointed out during the counseling.